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    I remember the day my ex-husband and I first got email accounts -- it felt like we had time-warped into a episode. Once you’re in, “high-end” matches from across the globe are presented, with regular events hosted by The Inner Circle, too.


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    “These are all interests of mine as well.”Surely, the universe was somehow trolling her. And refreshingly, he had date ideas that extended beyond the default meet-up at a bar. He apologized, explaining that he had meant to call somebody else. She brushed it off, joking that, for a moment, she thought he might have been “a crazy person.” Apparently offended, he started berating her even more furiously.Perhaps they could go for a nighttime drive around Beverly Hills, or make cocktails and listen to records. “I was trying to explain something and you cut me off! She hung up and dodged several more calls and texts before finally humoring him with a few minutes of her attention. So you can see why I’m pretty tense.” He told Tweten that she had insulted him earlier and asked for an apology. At least, as far as one can tell from Tinder: He was a coffee-loving “urban adventurer” from the Midwest and an entrepreneur who walked dogs on the side. So when Nathan (not his real name) matched with Alexandra Tweten, a 28-year-old woman living in Los Angeles, she was eager to start chatting. “It could have been my exact profile,” says Tweten. In his free time, he could be found digging through all the right vinyl genres: indie rock, shoegaze, electronic, and new age.Quite often, a sexually explicit photo arrives out of the blue.At its worst, the weirdness escalates into a barrage of insults or threats, and in some cases, physical violence.

    Getting involved with someone who’s so demanding from the start is sure to end in disappointment.“No one expects to meet in person after just a couple of emails, but if you’ve been corresponding regularly, it’s expected that you’ll take your relationship offline.If the person doesn’t even want to talk on the phone or meet for coffee, it’s okay to wonder what his motivations are.Some practiced daters have a standard letter they send to every single person they find even mildly attractive.Someone who truly wants to get to know you will take the time to write a personalized message responding to specific items in your profile, not send a generic cut-and-paste letter saying, “Hey girl, I saw your profile and was intrigued …” Think about the hundreds of other people who’ve gotten the same letter, and decide whether you’re willing to accept only the barest minimum of effort.

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